I've been thinking a lot lately! As I rush around doing "my thing", I have been wondering how I keep ending up with this feeling of turmoil, chaos and adrenalin rush. I am not blaming anyone but myself because I have been singing the same song for as long as I can remember. As I wrote Landon last Sunday night, once again very tired and rushed, I decided that I had the same thoughts 3 years ago each Sunday night as I wrote Blake on his mission. I then realized as I looked at Shelby's blog that she had pictures of Landon that I hadn't even seen. Not because he hadn't sent them to me, I just hadn't taken the time out of my crazy schedule to look at them. Wow, that was a realization! Elle asked me the other night, why we only had dinner on Sundays. That was a very frightening moment for a mom. I could blame it on my work schedule as I have been spending many hours helping with the annual Designer Show's invitations and gift baskets or my church calling, my parties, showers and other very important events. I could, but I won't. I am ready to prepare for the next chapter in my life. I want to enjoy it not ride through it on a roller coaster. I want to cook meals each night and sit down together as a family. I want my new unborn grandson to be able to have me rock him and hold him tight. I want Landon to receive a letter from his mom on a Sunday morning while I am fresh, sharing with him the moments in our week that have inspired us and lifted our spirits. I want to spend time with my cute mom, shopping and quilting and talking without a "hurry I have to go" and with out my phone in my ear. I want to sit down with Lex and watch a Monday night football game, eating popcorn and holding his hand. I want to read scriptures with our family, read more books with Elle, spend quality time with each of our children, play games with our extended family and be in bed before midnight. This is a tall order but I know that it is up to me. I have crowded so many things in my schedule that I have missed the journey as President Monson suggested in our last General Conference. It's not too late. I hugged my dad so tight in a dream I had last night. I'm so glad that I have no regrets as I miss him terribly. I WILL make sure that I have no regrets with the ones I love the most. Who knows I might even take time to smell my own flowers. Not next year! This year!
(ok if I happened to have any flowers this year)
5 comments:
Trudy that is so sweet it made me cry and gave chills. I had the same realization last night also that I am so worried about what my life will become that I am pushing my little boys to the side and I cant to it anymore.
Trudy, it's good to see that you struggle with balance in the same way that I do. Sounds like you know your priorities and that is the first step in making a change. It's a shame we busy ourselves the way we do, but sometimes difficult to avoid. Just treasure those little moments because in the end that is what we and our loved ones will remember the most.
Trud-- made me cry too... I still have the chills... I have never heard you say anything that sounded so inspired. Let me know if I can help lighten the load. Love you, Laura
Truds
You couldn't have said it better. Ever since last conference Jason and I have made a deal to help each other to remember to enjoy the journey better. And you of all people would benefit from that. You are one of the craziest, busiest people I know. Maybe then we will finally be able to catch each other when we call. Miss you
A
Trudy..what a beautiful thought.. the problem is that I can so relate. Thanks for putting it into writing, now it's not just a wish..it's a goal..Congradulations on Braxton, he's precious beyond belief..Loves, Traci
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